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These two playful kittens are new to our home, but they could be yours! That’s right, they are foster kittens–trial basis only. Trainees. New recruits. But they have lots of potential.

Cinder is the gray tabby. She is smaller than her big brother, Binx. A little shy, but she warms up easily to new situations–such as her brand new foster home.

Binx is bold and playful, but very gentle. He can jump as high as the bed. He loves toys, as does his sister. Much endurance have these two (for only five months old!)–they would do well in spy cat training!

Meow!

Timber Howligan, Secret Agent Cat!

Timber Howligan, Secret Agent Cat!

Look at that handsome cat–doesn’t he look heroic? Where is he going? Why does he have a grappling hook? In a few weeks, you can read my book and find out! Timber Howligan, Secret Agent Cat is almost ready! Stay tuned!

All proceeds from the book will go to charity–Alley Cat Allies. These folks understand cats like me who make our homes in the wild. We don’t need to be “rescued” and imprisoned. I might adapt to living in a home again, but Lester or Pfizz? No way. They’d eat your canned salmon, then bite you. You can imagine what happens to cats like this in animal shelters…

It isn’t pretty.

Alley Cat Allies educates shelters everywhere about the best way to handle feral cats (“stray” cats like me and barn cats like Lester and Pfizz). Trap-Neuter-Return sounds rough, but believe me, it’s better than the alternative. When shelters stop trying to “save” us, it frees up space for the animals that like curling up on your pillow at night. Everyone wins.

Buy Timber Howligan, Secret Agent Cat. Find out how I save the day. Become an Alley Cat Ally.

To My Covert Animal Handler, aka my “Owner”:

I know you value security. I know you like stainless steel, apparently a lot of it, for instance, in brand new doors. I recognize that you spent a lot of time researching the new keyless entry touch pads that integrate with the alarm system. They’re very nice. I know you’re probably not going to ever get rid of them, now that you’ve spent five hours installing them. On each entry of the house.

But here’s the problem. You took away the cat flaps, too.

What, you say? That was deliberate?

Look, it’s not like we were infiltrated by the Russians, or the Chinese, or even the military intelligence of a minor island nation. It was one little snake.

Headless.

Who knew that wouldn’t kill it?

We may be secret agents, but we’re still cats, Boss. The same instincts that make us excellent stalkers of enemy spies make us relentless attackers of helpless prey. It’s part of being a carnivore. The occasional can of ocean whitefish doesn’t cut it.

We need to hunt.

Outdoors.

On demand.

That door?

It’s in my way.

Open it.

Now.

OK, that was great. Thanks. Now I want back in.

What? It’s been five minutes. Now I need to see what’s going on out there.

Look, could you just leave it open? So what if it’s winter? Fur. It’s pettable AND warm.

Wait, what? I told you not to close that? Hello? Can you hear me?? MRAOW!!!!

This isn’t over.

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