Lester McMuffinI have been Timber’s best friend ever since he started hanging out at our farm. At first I think he thought I was crazy for being a Secret Agent Cat, but he has no idea what it’s like to live with a dozen other hungry cats in a place where it is winter six months out of the year. He would have done anything to get away from the smell of cow farts, too.

Now that Timber is a Secret Agent Cat (am I supposed to talk about that?), I think he understands that we do it for more than the bacon and the respite from the big barn. Horgan lets us help out on important cases, like the Litterbox Fiasco at the Peace Bridge. It’s amazing what people will try to smuggle across the border! Cats have innate stealth abilities that make us natural espionage agents, and I am proud to serve my country.

Pfizz McGroovy

Sidekick? I am not a sidekick. The Fat One thinks he is so important, now that he has written a book. But who was a Secret Agent Cat while he was still meowing about his Great Nim? Who mastered the art of Sumo wrestling? Who got to hold all the guns??

Being a Secret Agent Cat is hard work. The hardest part? Trying to pretend you’re not a cunning, lethally efficient, espionage agent.

I think I’m going to take a nap.



Cleo Patter Paws

When Timber asked me to write something for his website, I was honored. He is such a kind, strong, gentle cat. A true hero. Without him, who knows how my life would have turned out. I certainly wouldn’t have been able to negotiate the excellent benefits package I have from Horgan–salmon and sick days, imagine that!

Whether Lester and Pfizz will ever forgive me for the past remains to be seen, but Timber accepts me for who I am. He understands that a cat has to look out for herself in this world. We see eye to eye on many things. I think I would follow him anywhere.

Except back to my old master’s house–there are some things a former double-agent just shouldn’t do.